Monday, June 28, 2010

Paris is for schizophrenics

Fri, 6pm: Yay! I’m leaving work! To go have drinks at Rosa Bonheur! Because summer has arrived! Yay!

Fri, 8pm: Man, I’m beat from the week. Get me another sangria?

Fri, 10pm: Really? Wasn’t the scene at Rosa Bonheur better last year? What happened?

Fri 11pm: How depressing. Rosa Bonheur is already passé. And nobody is at La Trinquette or Andy Wahloo. Where are we going to hang out all summer? What is up with Paris??

Sat, 9am: Too early for a work meeting. Wrong day for a work meeting. Why, why??

Sat, 11am: Yay, freedom! Now, I have the whole weekend ahead of me.

Sat, 1pm: Score! I love my new Helmut Lang dress. Especially since it was half off.

Sat, 4pm: Sigh. Why can’t I snap my fingers and have everything written, instead of actually having to sit here at my computer and figure out what to write?

Sat, 5pm: Angst. Writer’s angst.

Sat, 8pm: Excited for the World Cup!

Sat, 8:30pm: U! S! A! U! S! A!

Sat, 8:36pm: Merde. Ghana scored.

Sat, 9:32pm: U! S! A! U! S! A! Looking good!

Sat, 9:45pm: Wow! What a game!

Sat, 10:03pm: Merde. Ghana scored.

Sat, 10:10pm: Wow! What a game!

Sat, 10:30pm: Merde. Ghana won.

Sun, 1am: Drunk, tired, get yourself home. Get yourself to bed.

Sun, 9am: I love the weekends.

Sun, 11:30am: Incredible! Exhilaration! I love this city! I love summer! I love the Velibs! I could bike all day long!

Sun, 12:30: Incredible! Exhilaration! I love this city! I love summer! I love the farmer’s markets! Cherries and nectarines and peonies and rotisserie chicken! Gimme, gimme!

Sun, 2pm: I love the weekends.

Sun, 3pm: So. Tired. Must. Nap.

Sun, 4pm: So. Groggy. But must. Write.

Sun, 5pm: Angst. Writer’s angst.

Sun, 6pm: Lovely. The sun is out. I have eaten well. Summer is here.

Sun, 9pm: Yay. A couple more hours of writing, done. A reward to myself: Crazy Hearts download from iTunes.

Sun, 11pm: That was more depressing than I bargained for. Sigh. Not exactly the high note I was looking to end the weekend on.

Sun, 11:10pm: NO.

NO, NO, NO. Omigod, no! My fucking cap did not just fall out!?

Sun, 11:11pm: Mom, can you pick up the phone?!

Sun, 11:15pm: Why did this happen to me? Why am I living 3600 miles from home?? Why am I alone?? Wtf am I doing?

Sun, 11:20pm: Thank god for good moms. Thank god for my mom.

Sun, 11:25pm: How am I going to find a freakin’ dentist?

Sun, 11:30pm: It’s okay. I will be able to stop crying soon.

Sun, 11:32pm: Wtf am I doing?? Why am I living so far from home?

Sun, 11:40pm: Thank god for friends. Thank god for Mel.

Sun, 11:45pm: Immense gratitude.

Sun, 11:55pm: Immense sadness.

Sun, 11:59pm: Immense loneliness.

Mon, 12:10am: It’s okay. I will get through this.

Mon, 12:20am: Wtf am I doing?? Why am I living so far from home?

Mon, 12:30am: Everything will be okay.

Mon, 12:40am: Wtf am I doing?? Why am I living so far from home?

Mon, 1am: I am so freakin’ tired. Why can’t I sleep?

Mon, 7:30am: Merde. It wasn’t a bad dream.

Mon, 8am: Ohmypuffyeyes.

Mon, 8:01am: Ohmyscarymouth.

Mon, 10am: Thank god Mel’s dentist can see me.

Mon; 10:30am: Did someone drug me? Or is this what could be called an emotional hangover?

Mon, 11am: That’s it? A 20-second procedure to fix 12-hours of personal trauma?

Mon, 11:30am: Thank god. I have all my teeth back, firmly in place.

Mon; 11:50am: Seriously, did someone drug me??

Mon, 1pm: Starving.

Mon, 2pm: Anxiety. Is it safe to eat?

Mon, 2:30pm: Relief. It stayed in.

Mon 3pm: Exhausted.

Mon, 4pm: Clarity. The fog is lifting.

Mon, 5pm: Incredulous. Here’s to a less erratic week.


  1. lol. leave it to such seemingly normal events to bring out the smothered anguish that comes from having an ocean in between you and your loved ones! when I moved apartments I almost had a nervous breakdown.

  2. OMG, I can sympathize about everything you wrote especially the missing tooth. I lost a veneer earlier this year and looked like a hillbilly on the night I had opera tickets! Merde! Still remember how much effort it took NOT to smile that night.

    So happy Mel could help you find a dentist and you feel human again. Glad mom was there for you too.

  3. Whatever yr taking I want some!!
    Loving Eat,Pray,Procrastinate..

  4. Great post! It is amazing how quickly things can change, isn't it! I'm glad your personal crisis worked out so well.

  5. I am so f*ing exhausted from reading this that I must nap and get back to you.
    Exhilarated that the tooth is glued back in.
    Remembering something similar a long time ago .. but it happened in a lunch hour ... with my mouth full of food too .. shuddering with memories ...

    You are going to sleep like a baby tonight !

  6. hahahaha
    i love this blog post! :D especially because I go through the exact same thing every day! might be partially because of the weather in where I's pretty much bipolar so my mood changes just as much when the weather does!

  7. I.Love.This.Post. Fabulous reality. Isn't life fun? I loved following your thoughts and emotions all around. I am the same way. My fiance thinks I'm a little crazy. I think its just a girl thing!

    Wishing you a great week!

  8. Merci for the support, mes amis. Yes, life is funny, isn't it? It sometimes tricks us into thinking everything is a-ok, all smooth sailing and then - boom! - disaster! Drama! Trauma! And all those little emotions that have been buried come gushing out like a geyser that's been clogged for 10 years.

    I certainly felt like a mentally imbalanced person. Here's hoping the wild mood swings abate a little... :)

  9. Catching up on some posts I have missed and wanted to chime in about how much I love this post! Perfectly presented, and it captures so much of the emotions one living so far from home feels now and again, especially once something goes wrong! So sorry about the cap (and about USA losing to Ghana!) but thank you for the smile that this brought to me as I read it.